Over nearly fifty years of driving Bill had never been pulled over for drunk driving. ‘Well,’ he thought as he climbed out of his car, ‘I guess technically I haven’t been pulled over for drunk driving this time either. Nope, I delivered myself right to the fuzz.’
When Bill had been at his drinking prime back in eighties the D.C. metro area had been replete with sobriety checks. Oddly enough whenever he’d had too much to drink he hadn’t encountered the quasi-constitutional road blocks and when he had found himself queued up to self-incriminate he’d been plenty sober to be waved through. This time was different, because despite his technically correct answer that he’d only had two drinks that day he feared the possibility that he would indeed fail this test and that that failure would preclude him from carrying on with his mission of getting to Gabrielle.
Bill also knew that cops enjoyed word games as much as he did. Thinking of Davie’s earlier reassurance concerning his two friends’ well-being he thought, ‘I really hope this guy was sincere when he said Gabrielle was okay.’
Officer Davies held the breathalyzer and gave curt instructions on its use. Once he had complied with the first requirement Bill began to think that perhaps he was in a bad television cop show as he was told to walk a straight line, alternately touch his nose with first one index finger and then the next while keeping his eyes closed and then to balance on alternate legs.
When he’d proactively started to do the finger to nose routine he discovered that even in cooperation he sent red flags up the tight ass cop’s spine. “I see you’ve done this before,” Davies said.
“No. I’ve just seen it on TV and in the movies. You’re my first.”
Advancing age plus anxiety sent off alarm bells in Bill’s head concerning the balance test and he nervously reported, “You do know that I’m sixty four years old? My balance isn’t what it used to be.”
“Not a problem, sir. The test accommodates for age.”
Finished with the test Davies checked the breathalyzer and announced, “Okay. Thanks for your cooperation. Let’s go see if the Gibeons would like comfort and aid, shall we.”
‘Wow! I can’t believe that I missed that bullet,’ he thought while stating with a smile, “That would be great. I told you I wasn’t drunk.”
“You did say that, and you are below the point oh eight DUI limit. But you’re definitely above the point oh four DWI.”