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Went to friend Shamus asked, what should I do?
I married a goddess who’s turned into a shrew.
She who once serviced my every single desire
has allowed love’s flame to perish, there is no more fire.

Shamus looked mighty perplexed as he wrinkled his nose,
there in silent reflection he did repose,
after a moment he answered me-
wisdom departed; well it set me free.

Here’s what I’m thinking as to what you should do.
Bounce her out on the curb, tell her you’re through.
If she can’t see value in first rate mate,
it’s time she headed out your garden gate.

I said that’s extreme aren’t there some things I should try?
I hear some counseling many marriages revived.
To simply abandon my once Bonnie lass,
seems slap in the face and kick in the ass.

Shamus looked at me and his shoulders went up.
That’s my opinion, ya silly young buck.
Keep her or leave her, it’s nothing to me,
just think you’d like again living life of the free.

Said I’d think it over and that night I did.
Tossed and turned in me bed under anxiety’s lid.
When Bonnie complained that was last stray.
Kicked her out in the morning wearing naught but her drawers.

A month went by and then it was two.
Without my Bonnie dear I sunk bluer than blue.
Then who should I see as they walked arm in arm?
My former dear Bonnie and Shamus McSworn!

I looked at the pair and Lord I saw red.
“Prepare to fight!” I screamed out with greatest dread.
Shamus he saw me and he ran away
and I stood there slack jawed with nothing to say.

My story continues, it did not end quick.
Bonnie and me made amends that did stick.
Shamus’ sister she is a rounded ripe peach.
I started to woo her and the broom we did leap.

Now every Friday when we gather at the day’s end,
we’re just one happy family and each other’s best friends.
One thing makes me struggle and scratch my head,
wonder what’ll greet us once we are all dead?

When days are finished and life is all through
and we’re questioned on who did what and to who,
will Saint Pete judge us harshly for things we did do?
Aye, will Pete bar pearly gates or usher us through?