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I heard it from a guy who saw it on the net
And the story that he told got me way upset
Gotta be legit because it was shared on Facebook post
Put me in a lather and attention was engrossed

I know better than to gossip, don’t let feathers fly
But link he included was completely certified
So I forwarded the warning in the video
Figured peoples’ revolution was best way to go

On my news-feed saw contradictory report
Knew I had the inside scoop but delved deeper just for sport
I had a little stumble, as much to my surprise
Snopes fact-o-meter said my guy was telling filthy lies

I’m not saying my tech skills aren’t a bit behind the curve
One thing I’ve learned is to do due diligence where it is deserved
Thus I dug a little deeper and much to my chagrin
Seemed there was a small chance I had egg upon my chin

Can’t say I wasn’t worried, feared maybe I’d been duped
Took some careful wrangling but eventually I recouped
Used the simple premise that contradictions were just lies
False testimonials; equivalent to droppings of house flies

When I started from conclusion and cast my net for facts
Found a hundred-fold examples that bolstered my attacks
Thus I learned to live in world of net-neutrality
Don’t tell me we lack freedom in land of US philosophy

Because no matter what you tell me, no matter what you say
I’m entitled to opinion until last breath just dies away
No such thing as evil-ution, vaccines cause autism
Just effete cognoscenti trying to tell us that we’re dumb

Hold fast to your opinions, stand behind Amendment Number Two
Know God Himself created great land of red, white and blue
If some godless lefty starts preaching virtues of mortal sins
Make sure ain’t no one watching when you bust him on the chin

I ain’t looking for no trouble, believe me when I say
Wish all you Rainbow Coalition folks would just go away
I’ll gladly not molest you in any shape or form
So long as you stand when Anthem’s playing and obey my norms