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Judge me not by words or deeds
but rather thoughts inside of me.
I may spew evil vitriol but you all should know just what I mean.
I’m the king, I’m the top, I’m the cream of the crop!
Follow me, don’t be shy, I’m one hell of a guy!
You say things that just aren’t fair:
Why you gotta force me to go there?
I’m King Log, not King Stork, I’m the lovable sort
But I just gotta punch back when you call me a dork

And you folks with low energy? Just step in line and you’ll see
that with my corporate synergy my work will set you free
Pravda, Lyublu, Mir; what’s with the Russian smear?
Vladimir’s a real nice guy (He’ll sure bone us if we try)

How can I make you see all the good inside of me?
I’m terrific! I’m first rate! I’ll be huge! You just wait!
I know all there is to know, don’t need opinions of generals
Because with my private parts I grab people by the… heart!
I’m one hell of a guy; did bootstrap trick and that’s no lie

Love me, hold no one above me.
Don’t ever fucking shove me!
All those dames’ pussies are so lovely.

I’m no loser, I’m not weak!
Not some moron who politically correctly speaks
I am smart, I am tough and if you push me dangerous
But we can win against them; just you wait! It’ll end up amazing!

And if you think things are horrific or that I lack specifics?
Just hold on, man, oh man, for I have got zee master plan
I’m as classy as can be, there’s no one terrificer than me
I am tough, I’m no lightweight, and alt-right’s not based on hate!

If you’re smart and no moron, here’s my wagon, just jump on
I’m the king, I’m the top, I’m the cream of the crop!
Follow me, don’t be shy, I’m one hell of a guy!
You say things that just aren’t fair; why you wanna force me to go there?
I’m King Log, not King Stork, I’m the lovable sort
But I just gotta punch back when you call me a dork

I’m one hell of a guy; did bootstrap trick and that’s no lie
Love me, hold no one above me.
Don’t ever fucking shove me!
All those dames’ pussies are so lovely.

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