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Randall Richard Tapper crusades for chastity,
Randall Richard Tapper fights for propriety.
On the side of righteousness, that is understood,
Randall is bastion of what he knows is good.

Helping with the children he’s quick to volunteer,
Says that tender youngsters are folks he holds most dear.
High school aged chicitas, to him a special breed,
Favorite form of service is meeting young girls’ needs.

Chaperoning dances he’s always on lookout,
Search for licentiousness, an evil he must rout.
Randy takes no chances with young girls’ purity
He blocks all advances and squelches liberties.

Poor girls that are crying, who’re visually upset,
Randy Tapper comforts with gift of clean, chaste pets.
Tension in the shoulders present in poor young things,
Dick Tapper does reduce when with his hands he wrings.

Randy Dick’s pants bulging as on young girls he spies,
Randy’s carnal weakness he truly does despise.
Richard Tapper wishes temptation’d go away;
He feels such self-loathing from longings that degrade.

 

Randall Richard Tapper crusades for chastity,
Randall Richard Tapper fights for propriety.
On the side of righteousness, that is understood,
Randall is bastion of what he knows is good.

When he was a young boy and with his willy played,
Rubbing ‘gainst his mattress as southward his hands strayed.
Randy’s mum she caught him and let out quite a shriek,
Told him he was filthy, called him a dirty freak.

Not the brightest crayon stored out in the work-shed
Second time Mum caught him used ruler till he bled.
Now humiliation is part of his psyche
Feels mortification round anything sexy.

Randall’s not a dater, this must be understood,
For fleshly desires are evil, they’re not good!
Now in his late fifties Randy longs for a mate,
What he wants most is love but what he feels is hate.

Watches as a youngster gets in tiff with his date
Girl is left there weeping by boy who did berate.
Randy he walks over to lend a helping hand
And quicker than a wink arose his basest gland.

 

Randall Richard Tapper crusades for chastity,
Randall Richard Tapper fights for propriety.
On the side of righteousness, that is understood,
Randall is bastion of what he knows is good.

Desiring what he fears and fearing his desires,
Randall Richard Tapper asks if help is required?
Girl shrinks back in horror as old man advances
Soon pegs him as harmless, with him will take a chance.

Randy Dick’s excited, his car is feet away,
Here’s a distressed damsel with whom he’s gonna play.
He opens up her door, moans as she slides inside,
Tonight will be the night he slips between her thighs.

Thanks him for his kindness and tells him her address
And as they drive along slips his hand up her dress.
Richard made a mistake with his untoward advance
Our damsel in distress stabbed Dicky through his pants.

Dicky screams in horror as she makes her exit.
She looks at him and swears, “I shoulda took your nut!”
Randall Richard Tapper renews his anguished screams,
He wishes he could end this nightmare of a dream!

 

Randall Richard Tapper crusades for chastity,
Randall Richard Tapper fights for propriety.
On the side of righteousness, that is understood,
Randall is bastion of what he knows is good.

Randall Richard cowers, he knows that he’s not right;
He would give his left nut to gain proper insight.
All he wants is loving but all he feels is hate,
Takes out his revolver to make the pain abate.

Chows down on the barrel and trigger he does pull
And Randy’s addled brains go splattering to and fro.
Eulogy for Randall spoke of his charity,
How in his heart of hearts he upheld purity.

Many was the eyeball that for him shed a tear
Folks who never dreamed of what he’d done for years
Girls he’d pawed and petted while preaching chastity?
Would suffer in silence, his grotesque legacy.

There’s a million Randalls who slither on the earth
Stunted, damaged liars with no shred of self-worth.
Look beneath the wrappings of men that like to claim
That in them we can trust for their souls might be lame

 

 

 

 

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