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Taint no pathway to love, just your perineum, baby
You got holes fore and aft and they both drive me crazy
But sliding into home is not what I live for
Cause it’s a lot more than your hoochie spots that, darling, I adore

I do like how you wiggle and tapping your firm behind
But it takes more than T & A to make a woman so divine
I am a better man whenever you’re with me
And if you’re my ball and chain I wish never to be free

When you are on my arm I stand a little higher
Being kind of man you look up to is something to which I aspire
My mama often warned me about company that I kept
But day that Mama met you it was tears of joy she wept

When it comes to being upright, darling, you’re a ten
You’re my alpha and omega, you are the living end
There have been a lot of times when we have disagreed
We’re not always eye to eye but you’re always the one I need

You’re not always dainty and you’re not always kind
And when I got it coming you’ll put a boot in my behind
But you’re the best damn woman that ever walked the Earth
And a hundred-million songs to you could not enumerate your worth

I know often I focus way too much on biology
Know it’s all of you I’m proud of, from your head down to your feet
You are my darling angel who sometimes prods with a pitchfork
But even as you’re bashing me I love you even more

Many is the man who’s always searching for new and hot
But when I’m lying with my baby I know the wealth I’ve got
My darling’s far from perfect but she’s the perfect gal for me
And forever wrapped up in her loving arms is where I long to be

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