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Wholly, wholly, wholly! Wholly fricking cow!
How’s it even possible that you’re still around?
Born in time of Moses, you watched him part Red Sea,
you’re the oldest sib-i-ling in our family.

Like the ancient Rodney who’s been laid to rest
-Wait! You’re both still kicking? Shocking, must confess!-
Back when Adlai Stevenson ran with Estes Kefauver
your gestation came to end, screamed, “Birth me, por favor!”

Three score times you’ve circled nearest star that’s Sol.
Oops! December the sixteenth demarcates two trips more.
First to walk among us, the first of five siblings,
know that I revere you so, and your praises sing.

Hermano, happy birthday! I wish you three score more,
though one-hundred-twenty-two would make you a most senior señor.
Wholly, wholly, wholly! Wholly fricking cow!
How’s it even possible that you’re still around?