I dreamed that I was with a heavenly, enticing and passionate woman. That we were locked in a most loving embrace, engaged in the most physical of intimacies. I dreamed that I was pleasuring a gorgeous, sweet-young-thing to enthusiastic, vocal applause. I dreamed that, and then mid coition I withdrew.
I get crushed regularly. I meet a woman I find lovely and endearing, we spend time together, (frequently via theatre productions) and I form an emotional, sexual attraction to said woman. There is nothing wrong with being attracted to someone; it’s what we’re designed to do.
The spark of mutual attraction is what makes life interesting. Attraction need not lead to action and for me it must not. My marriage is sacred and one of the bedrocks of my marriage is fidelity. There are lines that will never be crossed.
My wife is perfectly aware that I get a little giddy toward other women. If the crush is a bit more powerful than usual I will tell her explicitly, if the crush is peripheral then she will know I’m crushed via my disposition. My wife is strong, secure and the single most important person in my life; I would never do anything to endanger our relationship. Because of my adoration of her and our trust in one another she allows me my flirtatious crushes. She knows that I know what constitutes infidelity and one simply does not risk losing a goddess in exchange for an enticement.
And the women to whom I am attracted know too. Within minutes of meeting a bewitching beauty I have mentioned my wife. Mentioned? Praised. Acclaimed. Complimented, exalted and lauded. I greatly enjoy the “barnyard dance” of overt and subtle signs of mutual admiration vis-a-vis sexual attraction but frequent unabashed words of adoration concerning my wife transmits loud and clear that I am unavailable and that flirtation will lead to nothing salacious.
It would seem that even in my dreams my moral-compass refuses to veer from magnetic north. What kind of a man literally withdraws from coitus mid thrust declaring, “I can’t do this. I love my wife too much.”
I think I answered my own question.